I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.
God created the sleep, and the devil created an alarm clock.
I am not special , I am just limited edition.
Let immorality be the new morality.
God is really creative, i mean just look at me.
You are as useless as the ‘AY’ in ‘Okay’.
Taking revenge is wrong, very very wrong. But very very fun.
Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
Love is a grave mental disease.
Do you want to go out with me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B
Beauty Fades After Time, But Personality Is Forever!
We all are born to die don’t feel more special than me.
I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.
Remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
I’ll try being nicer if you start being smarter.
Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!
When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.
When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.
Someone writes “Urgent Calls Only”. Don’t get it… Are you in the police or ambulance service.?
From first day their status is, “Hey there! I’m using WhatsApp”, I know That’s why you are on my list.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
I lack sleep: are the nights so short, or do I sleep so fast..?
One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
It is better to be dead than cool.
Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.
So I heard you’re a player, well nice to meet you. I’m the coach.
If at first, you don’t succeed, keep flushing.
We are WTF generation – WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook.
Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror.
Relationship Status: Looking for a Wi-Fi connection.
Don’t compare me with anyone, I am original.
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
Three steps to have a great morning, open your eyes, take a deep breath and go back to sleep.
Someone’s status is “Available”. How free are you..??
You Don’t Know Something? Google It. You Don’t Know Someone? Facebook It. You Can’t Find Something? Mom!
Always spend your valuable time with your self.
Someone on his status “Sleeping” since 3 days. He’s probably dead.
I became a specialist at comedic one-liners.
Error: status unavailable!
Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing.
I don’t have dirty mind, I have Sexy imagination.
Every morning is good; it’s not his fault that someone didn’t sleep well.
I don’t like the morning, because it starts when I’m still asleep.
Beauty fades after time, but personality is forever.
Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a…………. woman :)
When i am good i am best, when i am bad i am worst.
Someone’s status is “Driving” since 5 days. I guess he reached Dubai.
If I get jealous then yes I really like you.
People who gossip with you, most likely gossip about you.
Life is short, Chat Fast!
I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
I can see you checking my whatsapp status.
I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
Wisdom is the gold refinement of life.
I hate math but I love counting money.
I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
Better the vaccum cleaner the better it sucks!!
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
I didn’t change, i just grew up. You should try it once.
The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
I believe in hate at first sight.
Excellent one liners…