If you are brave enough to say, “good bye” life will reward you with a new “hello”.

Funny Status

Excuse me, but this is not the life I ORDERED!

I don’t recognize you – I’ve changed a lot!

The only reason I gave you my number was because I thought you were drunk and would lose it.

You were born an original, don’t die a copy.

At the end of the day……….. Its night!

If I’m not back in five minutes, wait longer!

Save the Earth…It’s the only planet that has chocolate!

Admit it: at some point in time, you’ve tried to see if you had super powers.

Wouldn’t it be good if Ctrl+Alt+Del worked on stupid people!

Let’s eat out grandma. Let’s eat out, grandma. Punctuation saves lives, learn to use it people. It also helps avoid confusion. :)

I’m so good at sleeping; I can do it with my eyes closed.

Pinocchio had a tough time to set up a business. He had an issue with his lie-ability.

Next time put your phone down before waving to a cop.

Not smoking also leads to death.

I may never know your reasons why, but someday I’m gonna see the good in your good-bye.

If you see a guy opening a car door for a girl, it’s one of two things: either a new girl, or a new car!

Why is Monday sooooo far away from Friday, and Friday is so freaking close to Monday?

I’d like to be so rich that my dog has a dog!

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Thing’s people say when a movie finishes in the theaters. 5% I can’t wait for the sequel. 5% that was great acting. 90% I gotta go pee!

Gossip is when you hear something, you like about someone you don’t!

Lifes too short? Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife. Problem solved.

Laundry is teaching Racism. Keeping whites and colors separate.

If you don’t like the fire, don’t tickle the dragon.

Does Running late count as an exercise?

Just rescued a beer that was trapped in the fridge!

I have been probably learnt more from Google, than I have learnt from my school.

The first status I’m gonna post on Facebook in 2017 is: anybody alive out there?

A friend asked me: “What does ‘I.d.k’ mean?” I answered: “I don’t know”; he said: “Wow, that’s weird; no one seems to know it.”

I’m bored with being bored because being bored is B-O-R-I-N-G!

Women are like roads: the more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.

The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.

abcdefghijklmnopqrst_vwxyz…………..( I miss u )

I was standing in the queue at the bank today, when two heavily armed guys came in. I think they were bodybuilders.

Believes me, if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.

My first detention: My 6th grade teacher pointed a ruler at me and said, “at the end of this ruler is an idiot.” I asked which end he meant.

All of my passwords are “incorrect” so my computer always tells me if I forget.

I wish our lives came with a remote control. Play the easy times. Pause the good times. Fast 4ward the bad times. Rewind the good memories.

I’m pretty sure that mother nature has been taken over by an evil step-mother!